Another Day in Paradise

So yeah. I was nearly running behind this guy to try to get a picture. I didn't want the dissapointment of not having my camera ready like I had a few hours earlier when I missed a great shot of a girl dressed up FULLY to match her American Girl doll. She and her mom were both carrying additional American Girl bags. The reason I wanted a photo so bad was cos the girl was either a giant or way too old do be doing that shit. But anyways, I was redeemed (is that the right word) when I saw this hot piece of shit. Theres a PEARL JAM tattoo amongst that mess. And a money symbol. This was on the way to the train, where I was too late on yet another photo-op of a dude in a Jack Daniels baseball cap and sweats amd a tshirt that said "What would Yoda do?" on it. I don't understand that. What WOULD he do? I'm not hating, its just not that clear to me. Like what would jesus do? is trying to make people really moral or something but what is Yoda's deal even? Yoda is that thing thats like greenish with ears and wears a robe right? What would he do?


So this thing is up in the mall I work at. Look how fucking RED this dude's head is! Imagine this photoshoot, seriously. And people treat me like a piece of shit cos I work at a movie theater. Well at least I have my motherfucking dignity. If the repugnant atmosphere and weak ass overpriced food didn't keep me out of Eatzies already, this advertisment would. Just because if you can't trust them to hire people to not insult everyone on the planet with their horrible, square senses of humor, how can they be trusted for anything? I hate Eatzies anyway cos the people that work there come up all the time for free soda (to the theater. Eatzies is downstairs from the theater) but they never give us anything for free and they are rude about it, like when they come up for soda. They'll hand us a cup and be like, "Cherry Coke". Yeah, what about it? No greeting, no nothing. Yes, the fat guy with the mutton chops was nice mostly, and I do feel bad for being probably the biggest bitch that tool has ever met. He came up one time, and I was so annoyed to be interrupted from either sitting on the counter or listening to Graham talk about Nabby or something that I was like, "Who told you you could come up here for free soda? Cos we don't get anyting for free from you guys." Then I filled up his soda and totally scoffed. Its terrible, I don't know why i'm like that. Like, I don't CARE about the soda you know. Nothing is worse than the E Works people though. E Works are these total retards that sit at a kiosk in the mall and harass people into watching movie trailers and then doing a survey, and for some reason they think they are intitled to free soda as well. My personal nemesis of this squad is who Bruno and I call "Cherry Coke", although sometimes he mixes it up and goes for a Classic Coke. Either way, he needs to be harpooned, because as far as I can tell he is about to drop dead any quick second. The dude drinks like 5 huge jumbo cokes a day. A day being a work shift, so who knows what this maniac is doing on his own turf, he probably has a high fructose corn syrup drip going straight into his bloated ass while he sits and plays Doom or whatever. Something great happened though, when Bruno and I realized that since these schmucks were not paying customers, we didn't have to be nice to them, or anything really. They could walk up and we could say, "You are the biggest piece of shit I have ever seen." What could they do, complain to the manager? YOu are taking our products for free! Not much of a case. So what I started doing from that point was giving people a different soda from what they asked for. If Cherry Coke wants a cherry coke, it looks like he's about to walk away with a root beer. Next time it will be a root beer/unsweetened iced tea mixture. Just to see if they have the goddamn nads to say anything. Its not really that much of a problem because none of them even dare approach me at this point. They wait for someone nice like Shannon to be there.
I can't believe I wrote all this without having starbucks yet.