[A]- AVAILABLE?: no
[B]- BIRTHDAY: 3-31-79
[C] - CRUSHING?: cans of Tab and throwing them over my shoulder like I give a fuuuck
[D] - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: coffee
[E] - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: hanlon
[F] - FAVORITE MUSIC GROUP/BAND: of all time tie between cliff burton-era metallica and black flag. Right now Mastodon
[G] - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: hideos get those shits away from me. They're all hard to chew then you get that weird syrup running down the back of yr throat and everything
[H]- Home town: all over the chicago area most specifically Elburn/St. Charles
[I]- INSTRUMENT(s): that fugazi dvd is pretty good. I love the part when ian mackaye was making fun of the guy who ate the ice cream cone. Some people hate on Jem Coen cos Lost Book Found is so queer but I like Instrument. I wouldn't own it, but I'm down to watch it if somebody else wants to.
[J] - JUICE: lemonade fresh squeezed only with honey
[K] - KILLED SOMEONE: um no
[L] - LONGEST CAR RIDE: either 20 hours from Olympia to LA or when we drove straight through the entire state of texas and then some, both times kevin behind the wheel because he is a godamn psychopath. Both times were so fun, listenig to Public Enemy and talking our asses off.
[M] - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: whatever
[N] - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: one
[O] - ONE WISH: that drew and i would stop "losing our friends to faggotry" (that quote obviously is from drew)
[P] - PERSON WHO CALLED YOU LAST: meghan wikberg I have a platonic boner for her
[R] - REASONS TO SMILE: garfield comics, Wild Hogs, Sons of Hollywood, TV Carnage, friends, laughs, steals, deals, pizza, cute animals like goats and ducks...
[S] - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Killing in the Name Of or whatever its called Rage Against the Machine
[T] - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 8.
[U] - UNDERWEAR: leopard print rar. God, embarrassing.
[V]- VEGETABLE(S): spinich, broccoli, carrots, peppers, asparagus, artichoke, zuccini, cucumber, eggplant, squash, basically any vegetable alive I LOVE THEM!!!
[W]- WORST HABIT: smoking, justifying irrational behavior in the moment in bizarre ways
[X] - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: arm, face
[Y] - YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: horses
[Z]- Zodiac: aries, duh I'm sure its obvious, syke
Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" border="0">
This hot shirt speaks for itself, many times. Who the fuck makes this shit? It is so crazy.
And this. Who would wear this and why? I want a psychological profile. But 1st I want a psychological profile of the person who wrote this, then one of the person who chose the font, then one of the person who approved it to go into production, THEN one of the buyer for the store that carried it, THEN one of the person who finally bought it. I want full biographies on each of these people.
The expression on this tiger's face is so bizarre. Its not flattering. It looks miserable.
I'm so tired. My friend came over and we watched Mac and Me. Jeezous kerist. Tomorrow I go to work at a law firm doing google serches on people. Its gonna be tight I can already feel it. Booyahkasha.
falling down
I know everybody thinks it awesome to not have to do anything at a job and watch tv. Homies, its torture. I know, it sounds crazy. All work sucks, but I like to be moving. Hanging clothes at goodwill was rough for sure, but it felt good, I didn't end up feeling like a lump of turds at the end of the day. Whatever.
It was raining the other day and this dude fucking wiped out so bad on the bus. It was insanity. First of all, he looked like a grownup version of the black kid from the movie, i think its called Bad Boys? Judd knows. Its not the Will Smith one and its not the Sean Penn one. Its the one that would be on like everyday on HBO when I was like 7. I love this movie. This white suburban kid runs away from home and befriends a lil black thug kid in a fidora. I think the black kid is played by Eddie from that show with Steve Erkle. Anyways, if you haven't had the privelage of seeing this cinematic masterwork, please do yrself a major favor. Anyways, this guy looked crazy. He looked like he got out of a time machine coming from Detriot 1983. Fidora and these tacky cheap "dress" slip ons you know the kind. So he gets on the bus and fucking biffs so hard down the aisle. The trick got completely horizontal and slid all the way to the back of the bus like it was a crazy slip and slide. I of course was sitting in the back in my fav seat where you can put yr feet up on the heater. This shit was so exteme and so funny my chin was trembling and I was biting on my tongue to not laugh out loud. Of course the dude had to sit next to me and tries to talk to me! I couldn't understand what he was saying so I just went, "Yeah, I know". ???? I guess it was an adequate response to whatever the balls he really said cos he didn't give me a confused look or anything. Even still, that doesn't kill the dude in the hawaiian shirt who bit the dust going UP a set of stairs in flip flops with a pretzel in his hand and a large coke, which he did not spill. I DID witness his shirt fly up and his faintly hairy beer gut hit the landing. It was a phenominal view. Moral of the story: don't wear flip-flops.
another survey copied from sara
40 of the MOST Spontaneous Questions Ever, BE HONEST (I didn't write this part. I'm sure these are the same questions I've already answered a billion times. But I have 8 hours ahead of me and I forgot Hollywood Babylon which sara graciously lent me at the theater. Bon appetite!)
1. Where will you be in a hour?
Watching the View here at my desk. The guest is Tyra Banks!!!! That is going to be sooo good. Motherfucker has lost her MIND.
2. Who will be your next kiss?
I don't have a chrystal ball ok
3. Is there something purple within 10 feet of you?
Is this worth answering considering its a file folder?
4. Are you wearing socks right now?
No
5. When was the last time you went out of state?
I went to LA in January.
6. Have you been to the movies in 5 days?
I was cleaning theaters and watched the end of The Namesake. It seemed pretty good, but Kumar will always be Kumar to me.
7. What was the last thing you had to drink?
I'm not answering this question in a survey ever again.
8. What are you wearing right now?
Probably the most ugly outfit ever. Brown cords, a grey shirt with a short-sleeved white sweater over it and black flats.
9. What was your last purchase?
Coffee.
10. What's the last thing you wrote down?
Brittany Pisano "Platonic Boner" (for Drew) april 25, 2007 (its for my piece I made to show at Unitard May 1st? I'm not sure of the date)
11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Lolo to finalize our lunch plans. We will probably go to one of those weird lunchonettes(sp?) in an office building
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
jean shorts and a danzig shirt
14. What's the last sporting event you watched?
football
15. what is in your pocket right now?
Lighter
16. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
Waking up late in a motel in Montana, getting a coffee, driving for a long time listening to good mix tapes, going to thrift stores, and eating a good meal in a cozy restaurant.
17. What is the last thing you purchased online?
Cowboy boots
18. One thing you hate about yourself?
Being so materialistic. Part of it is that I am taken by aesthetics so I love looking at things of certain color or craft (things that are made really well, thats why I'm so obsessed with hermes and balenciaga cos the leather and craft is so pleasing--well that and the stigma, which is what I hate).
19. What's your favorite soup?
Minestrone
20. Do you miss anyone?
Too many! Right now I miss Kevin and Eddie the most.
21. Last play you saw?
A really crappy one about sexuality on the streets. (This was sara's answer. Hilarious)
22. What are your plans for the day?
Blog as much as possible, lunch with Lolo, go to the post office, go to whole foods, tag my clothes, attempt to clean my dump of an apartment
23. Ever go to camp?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah I covered this in another survey sheesh.
24. What do you want right now?
Right now I want a snack and some free time
25. Were you an honor roll student in Elementary school?
Was there an honor roll in elementary school? I know I wasn't cos I never did homework ever in my whole career as a student. I remember being like 7 and I would never do my homework and this teacher asked me what happened to my homework and I was just like staright up, "I didn't do it." No excuses, straight face. I can still see the look on her face. She was like, 'Well thank you for being honest." Yr welcome.
26. What Do You Know About The Future?
Its all uphill from here dudes. I'm kind of serious. I know everyday is a winding road, but I think the next few years might actually be good. I feel good. I'm stoked to see what happens.
27. Are you wearing cologne or perfume?
I mix lavender oil and YSL
28. Where are your best friends located?
Chicago Vancouver San Diego Los Angeles New York Nashville
31. Last person who made you cry?
Ordinary People
32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
Yeah I'm such a REBEL.
33. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Have you ever written a survey that doesn't suck my motherfucking dick?
34. How do you like your soda?
Au natural
35. Last time you took a shower
2 days ago? Dude I hate showering.
36. What is one thing you're afraid of right now?
No Fear; No Rulez; Bad Boy Club
37. What is your mood right now?
I feel fine to be honset with you. I usually get coffee from Starbucks (i don't care that they are The Man cos they give people a lot of jobs unlike "mom and pop" places where if you aren't in Joan of Arc or whatever they won't give you a job and they for fucks sure don't give benefits, I mean whatever I can't work at Starbucks--for the good of the community really cos somebody would be leaving that piece in a goddamn bodybag I can testify to that, but yeah I go there, but today the line was too long so I went to Cosi, and the coffee was good. Although it was $2.63 as opposed to $1.93 from Sbucks cos they charge for soy at Cosi. But the coffee did its job and the episode of the View I just watched was really good. Tyra grabbed Rosies boobs and squeezed them like 20 times in a row. Even Rosie looked weirded out. Like just cos she's a lez doesn't mean she wants a beastmonster like Tyra squeezing on her tits. Freak show.
38. Are you someone's best friend?
I've taken it to an art form
39. What did you want for Valentine's Day?
Diamond tennis bracelet hidden inside a box shaped like a heart filled with coconut creme filled chocolates, a stuffed animal--preferably Ziggy or Garfield holding a plush heart embroidered with "I Love You", a carriage ride downtown, champage and caviar at the Signature Room, a dozen roses with babys breath in a huge vase with a red bow wrapped in cellophane, and "something special" from Victoria's Secret!
40. What are you doing right now?
Killing time my friends, killing time.
network tv
So like I said earlier, I have a tv at my desk and I watch it pretty much all day. I have been trying to work on some art but the old fogie I work with is always peeping on my shit and it makes me feel weird cos I'm always drawing fucked up goat heads and people with shotgun blasts to the head and crass logos and shit. I am making 2 new pieces for Sven's (May 1st I think? Los Angeles, holler back. I'll let you know the dets when I know them). God and this dude I'm working for (at channel 7 news) is sooo weird. I think he's a dickhead. Like he semed nice enough but he was introducing me to some lady, and I don' tknow how to explain it, but it was like he was saying something to me, and she intergected, and he was all, "Excuse me, don't cut me off, I was talking here" which I thought was a joke, cos he said it in a way people do that sarcastically, but he wasn't kidding. Freaks. And this bull dyke who works here is a goddamn psychopath too. Like 5 people told me I could take my lunch whenever I want, which makes sense considering I DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING here. Personally I try to take my lunch as late as possible, its just my own personal preference, but anyway, its like 1:30 and she's like, "Why haven't you taken your lunch yet?" and I'm like "I don't know" and she tells me to go, and goes as far as to look at her butch scuba-divers watch and say, "Its 1:32, so be back at 2:32." Like I don't know what an hour is. She has the most serious hockey-mom voice I have ever heard too, and I heard her say "Frunch room" about 50 times. For those who don't know, chicagoans call the "living room" ie "front room" the Frunch room. I didn't know it wasn't ACTUALLY called and spelled "frunch" until I was about 19. Anyways, she got in some insane confrontation with some ho here this morning about permits or something boring, it was kind of thrilling cos they were yelling at eachother, and that was at around 9:30 am. Its nearly noon, and the beast won't shut the fuck up about it. People really despise confrontation. So anyway, I've been watching all this TV, regualr TV, which having cable, I never need to do. I'd forfeit grocery money for cable, I swear, especially having to watch network the past 3 days. It is such trash. Except the View. So at 9 I watch Oprah. Homegirl needs to put cucumbers on those eyeballs dude, she looks like Howie's dog (a wrinkle dog) except not cute or nice. Yesterday on O Michael Bolton sang my fav song by him, How Can We Be Lovers if We Can't Be Friends? live and for some reason Russell Simmons was there and was headbanging softly to the Bolt's passionate serenade. No, this was not a weird dream I had, it really happened.
Watched Maury which I haven't seen in like 5 years. I enjoyed it. First, there was a mom who dresses like a slut and embarrasses her teen daughter. So they give her a makeover and then let the audience know an upate via text on the screen. The text explained that the mom has been dressing more conservatively, but 'May "not" be able to resist her booty shorts in the summer'. Yes that is a quote, I wrote it on a post-it note. Why is "not" in quotes? I am OBSESSED with unnecessary quotations. My most favorite I think is CAR "WASH". That one is by my house on fullerton. Another thing that happened on Maury was a paternity test revealing the baby-daddy as the girl's cousin. The fact that they are related and did the nasty was not brought up as anything sensational or out of the ordinary. But what the fuck do I know about middle america.
Jason Lee is 37 today. Its cool that he doesn't lie about his age I guess. What an old coot. I had no idea he was that old. How old is Gonz? How old is fucking Tony Hawk??? Speaking of the Rad Dad, what about at Bam's wedding when Tony Hawk was wildly headbanging in his wife's face and she looked MORTIFIED. What about how Bam had a fucking CKY logo on the sleeve of his tuxedo? He is so cool, goddamn can I get a witness.
Stevie Nicks was on Ellen. I was really excited to see it cos I do love her (Edge of Seventeen?? Shut the fuck up, that is a killer cut) and apparently I'm a homosexual, but anyways, I think she died in the late 80's and they made an animatronic version of her. She always wears the same outfit and moves around all stiff and weird, like she's doing a subtle version of the robot. Her voice sounded like she just came off a tour doing vocals for Cradle of Filth. It sounded like shit. It sounded like a thousand cigarettes, a few hundred cigars and a case of strep. Whatever. Lindsay Buckingham is on today, stoked for that. He is such a creep. He looks like he has no body hair and he's always posing with that acoustic guitar like he's 3 and its his favorite teddy bear. I wonder if it will be weird that Anne Heche was with Lindsay Buckingham before she was with Ellen. I hate myself for knowing that. Actually I don't. Like I wouldn't read Anne Heche's autobio. Please. She had a meltdown and thought aliens were chasing her and all this shit. So good.
100 things
1. Name: BP
2. Middle Name: N/A
3. Where you live: Logan Square
4. Place of Birth: Evanston
6. Age: 28
7. Car: I wish I had a '69 Camero (Black w/ Black Interior)
8. School: Old
9. Occupation: I have 3 jobs that I don't do anything at
10. Initials: BP
. :Appearance: .
12. Hair Color: Brown
13. Hair Length: Brown
14. Eye color: Brown
15. Best Feature: unibrow
16. Height: 5' 5" (?)
17. Braces: No I wish. Almost had a back brace but it looks like instead I'll just have to be a hunchback
18. Glasses: I'm blind basically
19. shoe size: 9
20. Style: pre-pubescent romanian gymnast/suburban crust/teenage boy/andrew dice clay/surfer/the sister form Diff'rent Strokes
. :Firsts : .
22. First best friend: Lana
23. First Award: I wrote a story about animals building a cristmas tree when I was like 7 that won something
24. First Sport You Joined: tennis
25. First thing you did today: Braided my hair
26. First Real vacation: What is a fake vacation?
27. First thing you said today: Hello
28. First Love: Pop songs
. : Favorites : .
29. Movie: Point Break
30. TV Show: Intervention
31. color: green
32. Rapper: Easy E
33. Place to get groceries: Its not my favorite but I pretty much only go to WF
35. Season: October
36. Candy: Chocolate covered dried cherries
38. Restaurant: La Creperie
39. Band: JFA
40. Place: Naperville River walk
41. School Subject: rhetoric
42. Animal: goats
43. Book: Franny and Zooey
44. Magazine: White Dwarf
. : Currently : .
45. Doing before you started this survey: watching the View (i have a tv at my desk here pretty sweet huh?)
46. Feeling: nothing. Dead inside temporarily.
47. Wearing: shirt pants and shoes
48. Crying about: I cried the other day when I found these muppet flashcards I had as a kid
49. Eating: Green apple mixed with raw nuts
50. Drinking: Gingerberry Kombucha
51. Talking to: myself in my head. Today I described a bus (to myself in my head) as "faggeous". What is my fucking problem?
53. Listening To: CNN news
54. Thinking about: Life's precious moments ticking away.
55. Wanting: The usual: brown mid-80s Saab, a house, a goat, fox, and miniture shetland pony, Kelly or Birkin, a garden, the Regan Youth record somebody fucking stole from my goddamn house...
56. Watching: CNN. Too lazy to turn it back to Cheaters.
. : Future : .
57. Where do you see yourself in 5 years: On a veranda in white linens and a nautical-style bikini with blonde frosted hair blown back in the sea breeze; tan; mimosa in my hand. A man in similar linens and a hairdo like Antonio Banderas comes into the scene and embraces me from behind. Then we drink our mimosas in that way where you intertwine your arms with the champagne glasses and take a drink.
58. Kids: in the Hall.
59. Want to be Married: The older I get the more sicked out by the idea of marriage and when I was a kid I thought getting married was the wosrt thing on earth, so mathematically I 'd say I am not only never going to get married, I am against it for all people in general, because it is gross, corny, and unnecessary. I am still going to Trevor's wedding on saturday though cos still, I wont hate.
60. Career in Mind: We'll see. I gotta stay free ya know what I'm saying
. : Which is Better with the Opposite Sex : .
63. Hair color: Who cares
64. Hair length: who cares
65. Eye color: who cares
66. Measurements: 2, 98, 45, 1190, 5, .67 and if you don't make the cut: 2bad 4 u!!! LOL!!!
67. Cute or sexy: Neither! Trolls only.
68. Lips or Eyes: Dang. I can't have both?
69. Hugs or Kisses: gross
70. Short or Tall: don't want
no midgets.
71. Easygoing or serious: Serious. This world is in a state of emergency in many facets. I don't need to be around any laid back lazy slugs.
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: I don't know man. Not romantic, I'll say that.
73. Good or Bad: I'm not answering this gay shit
74. Sensitive or Tough: Neither?
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Neither...
77. Trouble Maker or Goody-Two Shoes: GAYEST QUESTION EVER!
. : Have You Ever : .
78. Kissed a Stranger: Yes. The most remarkable one was the dude who looked like dave grohl got put trough a meat grinder and I punched him in the face and he goes "I like that!" (That was when things escalated to the point of an almost date-rape).
(This computer fucking SUCKS. I lost these questions that are supposed to be here. PCs are so sick)
So whatever. I'm going to lunch anyways. LATER!
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